100 Pound Load:
The total weight of your familiars must be 100lbs unbuffed. This weight calculator comes in handy when determining total weight.

300 Pound Load:
The total weight of your familiars must be 300lbs.

Black Hole Terrarium:
The total weight of your familiars must be 500lbs.

99 Red Balloons:
Use 99 red balloons (use multiple menu). Red Balloons can be purchased from The Gift Shop after your 26th ascension.

Little Boat:
Take 100 Trips at the Shore.

Best Meal of My Life:
Consume 60 White Citadel burgers, 10 White Citadel fries, 4 Cherry Cloaca Colas and 4 Diet Cloaca Colas.

Big Boat:
Take 1000 Trips at the Shore.

Boss Boss:
Defeat the Boss Bat, Goblin King, Baron von Ratsworth, and Bonerdagon with The Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device set to 11.

Bouquet of Hippes:
Eat 420 herb brownies (cook herbs and Uncle Jick's Brownie Mix together).

Brass Bowling Trophy Trophy:
During the strange leaflet quest you come across a house with a fireplace. Light the fireplace then examine the fireplace. You should see a trophy. Take it. There appears to be an element of randomness in that not everyone gets the trophy every time.

Der Toastdieb:
Steal toast in PvP.

Disgusting Cocktail:
Drink 5 tomato daiquiris (sometimes spit out by an exploding bartender after trying cocktail craft too many items at once).

Easy Come Easy Go:
Discard pretty flower from inventory.

Eerily Skilled:
Acquire all of the six Spookyraven skills permanently.

Failure to Communicate:
Eat 50 Lucky Surprise Eggs (cook cocoa egg and ten-leaf clover together).

Festive Dismemberment:
Use a Knob Goblin firecracker on July 4th.

Friend of Elves:
Kill 10 reindeer at the Crimbo Town Toy Factory with the Unionize The Elves sign equiped. The Unionize The Elves sign can be found at the Crimbo Town Toy Factory. You can increase the chance of the sign dropping by equiping a ring of conflict or using deordorant (anything that reduces the chance of combat).

Reindeer Hunter:
Kill 100 reindeer at the Crimbo Town Toy Factory with the Unionize The Elves sign equiped. The Unionise the Elves sign can be found at the Crimbo Town Toy Factory.

Gadget Inspector:
Find ten clockwork keys in a single Ascension (must be dropped by an enemy, not bought).

Gender Bender:
Get your sex changed 30 times in the Sleazy Back Alley.

Golden Meat Stack:
Visit the trophy hut with 1,000,000 meat during a hardcore ascension.

Gourdcore:
While in hardcore, complete the Gourd quest 21 times (up to 25 items).

Jack of Several Trades:
Acquire all of the Gnome skills permanently.

Let My Bugbears Go:
Visit the Bugbear Pens in a bugbear outfit and get the "A Day in the Life" adventure. You must have first completed the Spooky Gravy Barrow quest.

Little Chickadee:
You must have at least 1000 drunkenness when you try to purchase the trophy. You can do this by using ! potions. ! potions, also called bang potions, can be found by using either a "large box" or a "small box" which are available at The Dungeons of Doom.

Look, Ma! No Pants!:
You must not have worn pants at the end of 2005 (New Year's 2006). AKA The Pantsless trophy.

Silver Yeti:
Use the "Yeti Protest Sign" 10 times. No longer attainable.

Golden Yeti:
Use the "Yeti Protest Sign" 100 times. No longer attainable.

I Heart Canadia:
Drink 30 white Canadians.

Palindrophy:
Have a Pagoda in your Campground.

Platinum Skull:
Eat 5 Spaghetti With Skullheads.

Slapstick:
Discard a banana peel and adventure until you get the Schadenfreude event. Do this a total of three times.

Slice and Dice:
Ascend with a 20 lb stab bat as your familiar.

The Butler Did It:
Read the Manual of Dexterity, Labor, or Transmission approximately 30 times in a single ascension.

The Ghuol Cup:
Eat 11 ghuol guolashes.

The Three Amigos:
Donate one million meat to each statue in The Hall of The Legends of The Times of Old. This can occur over the course of several ascensions.

This Stupid Trophy:
Be present for the Ascension roll out (June 9, 2005). AKA This lousy trophy. No longer attainable.

Three-Tiered Trophy:
With a stomach of steel (requires you to be on a Teetotaller ascension) and on the Feast of Boris day, eat a three-tiered wedding cake (available at the gift shop after your 7th ascension).

Tiny Plastic Trophy:
Get all 32 tiny plastic figures in your display case.

Trivially Skilled:
Permanently keep the starting skill of every class (six of them).

Weeping Pizza:
Eat 5 White Chocolate And Tomato Pizzas.

Your Log Saw Something That Night:
Enter the text 'Laura Palmer' into the notes section of the quest log. A.K.A. the instatrophy.

Scourge of Seals:
Reach level 30 in the Seal Clubber class.

Tzar of Turtles:
Reach level 30 in the Turtle Tamer class.

Sauciest Saucier:
Reach level 30 in the Sauceror class.

Potentate of Pasta:
Reach level 30 in the Pastamancer class.

Maestro of Mariachi:
Reach level 30 in the Accordion Thief class.

Duke of Disco:
Reach level 30 in the Disco Bandit class.